suluboo:

relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead 

sexecutive-outcums:

prussia-senpai:

sexecutive-outcums:

If you don’t think European History is the coolest shit get out of my fucking face

It’s all we fucking learn in school

Not really. In High School, you learn watered-down, glorified European history that’s far too heavy on the intellectual side. The real thing isn’t exactly there.

sexecutive-outcums:

xenotran:

sexecutive-outcums:

oh my god i just figured out the etymology of seminal and I’m giggling to myself

OH NO

get it? because it passes ideas down to another generation? its seminal

heytinafey:

i’m only allowed 12 more seconds of video to post today so i thought i’d use those seconds wisely. also, where the FUCK ARE THEIR OSCARS?

rifleweeb:

OKAY, THERE’S NOT UNDERSTANDING HISTORY

AND THEN THERE’S “IGNORING HISTORY IN FAVOR OF REWRITING IT TO FIT YOUR NARROW-MINDED VIEWS”

France couldn’t stop Hitler!

THE GERMANS WENT AROUND THE BULK OF THE FRENCH DEFENSES IN THE MAGINOT LINE BY GOING THROUGH BELGIUM, THUS CUTTING OFF THE FRENCH MILITARY FROM THEIR SUPPLIES AND CAUSING THE FRENCH GOVERNMENT TO SEEK AN ARMISTICE AND EVENTUALLY SURRENDER TO THE FAR MORE MOBILE GERMAN ARMY. THE FRENCH MILITARY WAS MOSTLY DEFEATED BEFORE IT HAD A CHANCE TO FIGHT, AND MANY FRENCH COMMANDERS WERE READY TO HOLD OUT HAD THEY NOT BEEN INSTRUCTED TO STAND DOWN BY THEIR GOVERNMENT’S LEADERS.

Russia had a lot of guns and they couldn’t stop Hitler without the cold!

THE GERMAN INVASION OF RUSSIA CAUGHT THE SOVIET UNION OFF-GUARD, WITH LITTLE RESISTANCE FROM THE BLACK SEA TO THE FINNISH FRONT (AND HITLER STILL LOST NEARLY 1,000,000 SOLDIERS IN THE INITIAL OFFENSIVE). ONCE RALLIED, THE RED ARMY STOPPED THE GERMANS AT STALINGRAD, WHERE AN OFFENSIVE ACTION BY SOVIET GENERALS GEORGY ZHUKOV AND ALEKSANDR VASILEVSKY ENCIRCLED AND CRUSHED THE GERMAN 6TH ARMY, EFFECTIVELY TURNING THE TIDE OF THE WAR IN EUROPE. IF THE COLD HADN’T STOPPED THE GERMANS IN RUSSIA, THE SHEER NUMBERS OF THE RED ARMY (ARMED BY THE LEND-LEASE PROGRAM) AND THE BRILLIANCE OF ROKOSSOVSKY AND ZHUKOV WOULD HAVE DONE IT EVENTUALLY.

BUT LET’S BACK UP FOR A SECOND

I wish armed Jews in the ghetto could’ve stopped Hitler, but…

THE POINT OF ARMING A POPULACE AGAINST TYRANNY IS NOT A GUARANTEE OF VICTORY. IT DOES, HOWEVER, GIVE THOSE PEOPLE A FIGHTING CHANCE, AND THE FUCKING CHOICE TO DIE ON THEIR FEET, FIGHTING FOR THEIR FREEDOM, RATHER THAN BE WALKED INTO A GAS CHAMBER LIKE LIVESTOCK. THESE MOVEMENTS (AND MANY MORE LIKE THEM) WERE RUN BY HEROES WHO RISKED EVERYTHING FOR THEIR LIVES, THEIR FAMILIES, AND THEIR COUNTRIES BY REFUSING TO SUBMIT TO THE ARMY WHOSE BOOT WAS ALREADY ON THEIR NECK:

TELL ME, JON STEWART, IF YOU COULD, IN FACT, GO BACK IN TIME, WOULD YOU TELL ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE NOT TO BOTHER? THAT THE ALLIES WOULD EVENTUALLY COME AT SOME UNSPECIFIED POINT IN THE FUTURE AND THAT THEY MIGHT LIVE (emphasis on “might”) IF THEY JUST SUBMITTED TO THE NAZIS? WOULD YOU GO TO THE DESCENDANT OF A RESISTANCE FIGHTER, AND TELL THEM THEIR ANCESTORS DIED IN VAIN BECAUSE THEIR NATION AND THEIR PEOPLE WOULD’VE BEEN LIBERATED ANYWAY, AND THEIR CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE WAR EFFORT VIA THE EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TASK OF DISRUPTING NAZI SUPPLY LINES AND FORCING THE GERMAN ARMY TO STRETCH ITSELF THIN DIDN’T MATTER?

NO, YOU WOULDN’T, BUT BECAUSE YOU CAN SAY “I’M A COMEDIAN,” YOU SOMEHOW THINK YOU HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT TO HANDWAVE THE DEATHS OF TENS OF THOUSANDS OF HEROES AND PATRIOTS WHO HAD THE GODDAMNED BALLS TO STAND UP TO THE NAZI WAR MACHINE, FREQUENTLY ARMED WITH LITTLE MORE THAN A SHITTY ONE-SHOT PISTOL AND A KNIFE, AS “NOT THAT IMPORTANT,” ALL FOR THE SAKE OF A “JOKE?”

THAT IS, WITHOUT A DOUBT, THE SINGLE MOST ARROGANT, IGNORANT, DISRESPECTFUL FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER HEARD ON MY TELEVISION - AND I’VE WATCHED BILL O’REILLY’S SHOW ON FOX NEWS.

TL;DR: FUCK. YOU.

Signed, 

Someone Who Actually PAID FUCKING ATTENTION IN HISTORY CLASS

P.S.:

Guns were kind of a big deal in the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave up his firearms due to pressure from pacifist groups who convinced him it was unbecoming of someone in his position, but previously owned “an arsenal” worth of guns. Malcolm X, however, stuck to the idea of armed self-defense, for good reason. The King family also believes that the Memphis Police and federal government had a hand in his assassination, but that’s an entirely different subject.

sixpenceee:

A compilation of Edward Gorey and his rather gothic poems and illustrations. 

Check out his dark children alaphabet illustrations